Thursday, April 07, 2011

i feel like i could've written this....

this is from scary mommy's blog. i feel such a connection to this post, it's unreal. when you decide to stop getting upset about the "weird" and start looking into who they truly are, that's when you can appreciate what's happening.

I Should Have Realized

Laverne is the blonde half of Kindred Adventures's, Laverne and Shirley. Two kindred best friends embracing life adventures of friendship, motherhood and marriage. We are following life's road, creating our own path, trying not to get lost, or run out of gas. We collect souvenirs and we stop for directions!

The day we brought our second daughter home from the hospital my dad said his good byes. He waved and turned to leave. My oldest daughter stood up in the middle of the room, said, "Look at me!" and started to walk.

I should have realized.

Potty training time came. The first day, I stood in the next room sobbing to my girl friend on the phone. I had put my daughter on the potty for several minutes and nothing happen. I sat her in her chair for lunch minutes later. She looked up at me, looking me straight in the eye from the now peed on kitchen chair and said, "Oopies happen Mommy!" (with the same emphasis of giving someone the finger.)

I should have realized.

We drove to her annual school Halloween parade. She looked adorable in her Minnie Mouse costume, but insisted on wearing the headband ears in front of her ears and on her forehead. It made her look weird.

I should have realized.

I always thought that because your child came from you, your love would come pouring out of you unconditionally, without hesitation or effort. My love did. But, never did I think that I would find my own child difficult to like! I could work with the most difficult and disabled young adults. I could find the smallest strength or likable quality in them. I could develop a plan to enable and empower them to be the best they could be. Even with all that, I had a daughter who I thought was weird. She did weird stuff. She acted weird. She enjoyed dressing weird. She annoyed me and tested every ounce of my being. At three years old this was affecting my ability to like her.

I was sharing my struggles with my sister and she turned to me and said, "You can't say that about her. You can't talk about her like that. She's your daughter!" With a heavy heart I reflected. I was mad at my sister. I knew she was right. It was me, not my daughter. From that day forward I changed the way I looked at her. It was also when I discovered what I should have realized: Things I found odd and weird were not weaknesses. They were strengths. She is uniquely creative and has an expansive imagination. She sees the world in a way I would never dream of. She often knows what others will think of her, but is strong enough to do it her way. She is stubborn with a persistency that gets things done. She is my daughter and we are more alike then I knew. She possesses skills and qualities that make her talented and special.

I should have realized. She's a lot like me!

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