mixed emotions

i'm pretty sure i want out of this current body i have... but i know i'll miss it when it's gone.
having a boy and a girl kinda takes the pressure off of the "what if" of having a third one. as in, if this was another girl, there'd be a "what if" we tried for a third and "what if" if was a boy. let's face it, kids are expensive!

i'm puffy, sweaty, dehydrated and let's face it... "things" are getting awkward. the good kinda things and bad kinda things. bad kinda things being laundry, carrying charlotte, bathing her, reading to her at night, cleaning etc. good kinda things being nunya.

part of me is sad, here at 39 weeks because i feel as though there aren't many more life milestones to look forward to. i know that's technically not true though. someday i want a new house. my kids might play sports, or be musically inclined and i'll get to see them develop a talent, someday i want to have grandchildren...

so, i guess that it is with a heavy heart that i let this chapter go soon, and start a new one. one where there's just the four of us instead of the three of us.

and i'm pretty excited about that.