my solemn vow.

dear charlotte,





you are about to turn 6 months VERY soon.





you are doing exceedingly well at daycare and now you have a little girl to play with! (and by "play with" i mean, stare and and drool, because none of you nuggets can sit up, let alone play)

you amaze me on a constant basis. you now know that the daycare women are your pseudo mom and i am your REAL mom! when i come to pick you up at daycare, you laugh and coo. wait who am i kidding? you whine because you know where the tata's are. you are starting to REACH FOR ME for real. i love it.

when i bring you home after work and have to scarf down dinner because i'm starving (because you've sucked the life out of me at our lunchtime feeding)- i feel needed. so needed that usually my "dinner" consists of a spoonful of crunchy jiff peanut butter and a cheesestick and some olives because it's the fastest thing i can cram down my throat because i know you want your COMFORT food. aka, ME. and i can't deny you that.

so... as i feed you, i usually rest my head on our headboard and let the lightheaded, dizzy feeling take over. and then i glance down at you and notice how mature you look! not like the little infant i used to take care of, and you look up at me. and i know. i know you had a good day but you missed this, US, skin to skin, and that is our bond.

and then your father fixes his chainsaws, and we chill together while i suck your baby cheeks, or your baby belly and marvel about how i used to dream about this while you were in my belly. i used to say when you were in utero, and your father and i would watch in amazement as a foot, or some limb would roll from one hemisphere to another, "the first thing i do when she comes out is suck her butt!!!" and we would laugh, but sometimes i think i could just bite you and i scare myself! true story. you smell so good, LOOK so good, better than any food i've ever been offered.

pretty much, the story summed up is, that i love you beyond belief. your daddy has been playing a new game with you. you are slumped over on his belly and he grabs your hands and feet together in his big hands and raises you up, up, up! WHEE!!! and you fall for it everytime and give us the chuckle we long for.

my solomn vow to you is to always be there. to always put your needs before mine. to always be concerned about your comfort (daddy is getting triple paste tomorrow! ohh.. that diaper rash...)
even when you are an adult woman, i will give you the piece of mind you deserve from a mother.
this is my solemn vow to you.

look. just look how far you've come. love that you are pursing your lips in your just born pic and your almost 6 months pic! what a comparison. a comparison that is beyond compare! lightyears!

we love you.

and yes, that was my personal decision to not put you in pink for your "going home" outfit.

that's just how i roll.