Saturday, December 06, 2008

love letter to my husband...

since i'm feeling especially needy today, i come to think of all the people/things that
are especially lovely in my life. things i don't necessarily think i feel i deserve sometimes.
like, what makes ME so special, so lucky... so deserving of this unconditional love another human has for little old me? well one such person is my husband.


words really can't touch upon what i want to say. the lump i get in my throat when i think about you. how sexy the machinist smell can be when back in the day, i wasn't sure if i could handle, but it's YOU. and i love it. it gets me every time. plus, you're not like other stinky boys. it's not B.O.! it's "hard WORK." that is hot.

i think i always somehow knew i'd end up with you. and by end up i don't mean it in a degrogatory sense. i mean it in the, "i always knew you were for me and other people of no consequence were in the way." but i was too immature to know what to do about it. but look at us. we've ended up together. we're "us." and i love us.

i'm usually too tired to tell you what i think. if you could get into my head, you'd be REALLY flattered and happy to hear the great things my brain thinks about you. like how great your bum looks in almost any kind of pants. even pants bought in mexico for the "fancy restaurant" we otherwise wouldn't have been able to get into. and ESP the EXPRESS jeans i got you on sale. or how i love that you meet me and your daughter at my car every day because you know i have my purse, baby bag and a million bajillion (yes, that has to be a real number after jillion or something) things i have to lug to the house. and you know crawling into the back of my pontiac coupe really irritates me. and you know we don't have the money to splurge on a 4 door. plus i think you love your daughter...

which brings me to my next point... you LOVE your daughter. you are the best daddy. you sing, are silly, she BRINGS things out in you i could not have thought imaginable. you sing silly songs. you show you are open to being "that guy." the guy who loses all coolness and his seemingly hard edge when it comes to your baby daughter. you can tell through awesome guy telepathy that i've "had enough" and take her to fly her to the christmas tree or just let me snooze because you know i worry enough for 10 people about the welfare of our family.

long story short, i love you craig ryan. you are my life, my very breath. without you there would be no me. how did it take me 25 years to realize that?? and was my life really a life worth living without you...

with love,
your wife.

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