this post is fashionably late, just like his mother usually is.
colton sawyer spec is here. and he's awesome.
in the wee early morning hours on august 14th, i woke up to some mild-ish (what i thought* to be contractions) and figured they were braxton hicks, like i had had before. so i tried to go back to sleep. no dice. i was hurting. i got up, puffed around, walked around... he was wriggling around inside me and i felt huge. and it was one of those things... not sure to wake craig, get him all excited or not! so i sat down at our dining room table and googled for a bit. the more i looked, the more i was convinced. yep. i'm in labor. the early stages. i timed them a bit. 7 min apart. for 1 hour. whoa. this is totally it. i got craig up around 5:30. he started timing them in our bed while i grabbed onto my pillow every time i'd contract and say, "ouch, ow.. OW! damnit!!" around an hour later, they got to be abt 5 min apart, at 30 sec to a minute long. i knew. i just knew and i said, "ok, i'm taking a shower, call your parents." i thought i'd have some time to mess around and i'd read that some women "take a relaxing bath, or make food for the upcoming week to freeze." are you KIDDING ME? it was going fast and furious. i wasn't going to be making lasagna anytime soon...
as i tried to dry my hair, i thought about my impending doom. i was going for no epidural. and i could barely dry my hair. it hurt. bad. craig was getting lottie ready in her room, and somehow, part of me knew that this was not going well. i stopped drying to peek in. she had an xmas "peace on earth" shirt on in the middle of august and some pink shorts. *sigh* i was annoyed, i'm not going to lie, but then i realized, ok, he's just as freaked out as i am. our tripod is going to be a quadpod soon. whoa. so i laughed (ish) and just redressed her with layers.
his parents came and were sitting at our dining room table, and even though i was in MASSIVE pain, i went in and was like, "hi! how are YOU guys!?" very surreal. they were more like, "um, ok... how are YOU?" i was going to shat out a baby soon. i was not ok.
they took charlotte and her bag (that we packed that morning) ugh. it pays to preplan people. i didn't even have my bag done. idiotic. i think i was in denial. we started to drive off to the sewickley hospital. with all the taxes that people in sewickley pay, you'd think their roads would be a little more less... well, pot-holey. i felt every BUMP, THUMP and THUD in those cobblestone roads and then some on beaver street. good lord. sweet baby jesus. i was reeling.
we finally got to the hospital and they took our names down and info and i waited with craig in the ER waiting room for a nurse to come get me with a wheelchair. with every contraction i was like a wet cat clawing my way up a curtain. except it was me, clawing my way up craig's arm. dawn finally came and got me, and took me upstairs. i got undressed and into the bed. i still had unrealistic expectations of delivery. "i don't want an epidural... just maybe.. well, something to take the edge off?" she wasn't really interested in what i had to say, and just said, "sure honey... we could do ... " and all i heard from that point on was the charlie brown teacher. *whah whah whah...* i said, "i can get up and walk around right? through the contractions?" she said, "whatever you feel like doing!" zero guidance. i felt like doing NONE of it. i laid there and banged my head of the side of the bed. through. every. contraction.
finally i gave in and requested the meds. the man with large needle was there in a few minutes and it was the best 600 bucks i ever spent. i made it through 5.5 hours of labor and that was enough for me.
before i knew it i was in lala land. the land of no contractions. it was an amazing lush, green forest and i was the fairy princess. craigs father had come to the hospital. was it ok if he came into our room? SURE!! let's gab! i had tons of things to say. i was feeling NO pain. i felt awesome. before i knew it, it was time to push. what? the nurse had checked me and i was fully dialated?? i wasn't ready! i was the fairy princess that felt no pain!! ugh. plus i was tired. ok, craig's dad had to leave. it was time to push. blah.
they would instruct me to bear down. i did. i pooped. twice to be exact. i asked craig, "did i poop?" he said, "a little" and i'd push less hard. how insane. i'm pooping all over the table. ugh. then i just though, let's get it over with. they told me the cord was wrapped around his neck and with the next push, i had to push HARD, then when they said, "stop" i had to stop or i'd strangle him. and in the next breath told me it was "completely normal." so i pushed like hell and stopped when they said stop. and i pooped and pushed and pretty much in that push, lil' c. was here. and he was gray. and not breathing. and the nurse on my left said, "he's not breathing." and dawn said, "YES he is, he's fine" and they smacked, rubbed and did god knows what to him until i heard him scream. that few seconds of gray silence was the scariest shit EVER. i would've rather faced an armed home invader than think my baby was dead. and he was getting pink. and he was on my belly. IN LOVE.
i'll spare you the part about the doctor coming in, the episiotomy, the blood squirting onto her shirt....he was whisked away to be measured and because the whole thing happened so quick, all we have are cell phone pics. i didn't even have my bag! the room emptied. he was back with me. he was ready to nurse. it was like riding a bicycle. i lifted my shirt and he latched like nobody's business. smart guy. special baby. my special little guy. we are bonded for life now. as i fed him i thought, "this is the craziest thing ever... and the best and he's mine. ours forever and will be bigger and me and possibly his father someday."
the rest was history. our history. the four of us.